Written by RJ Ledesma, originally printed in The W@W Wedding Primer
After years of serving of master of ceremonies, there are ten things I have learned to make the wedding a memorable experience both for the couple and the guests:
- Do remember that the wedding reception is about honoring your guests.
Your guests have honored both of you by taking time out from their schedules to witness your special day. Keep in mind, though, that your guests will be spending half a day to a whole day to celebrate your union. Thus, it would be good to value the gift of their presence by keeping the program long enough to be memorable but short enough to be appreciated. A good rule of thumb would be two keep the whole reception – from the entrance of the sponsors (if you choose to have them enter) up to your thank you speech – under two and a half hours. - Do try to make the gap between the wedding ceremony and reception as short as possible.
Similar to my previous point, your guests will be spending half a day to a day with both of you for your wedding day. Try to make it as convenient as possible for your guests by having the reception right after the ceremony. If this is not possible, then provide some form of entertainment while your guests wait for the reception to begin (i.e. Souvenir photographs). - Do get an experienced wedding coordinator and a capable master of ceremonies.
Some couples would like to get their relatives and/or close friends to serve as wedding coordinators and/or hosts. Although there’s nothing with that, in the unfortunate circumstance that something goes wrong during the reception, and you don’t want to blame and/or argue with friends/relatives who did what the best that they could do given their abilities. An experienced wedding coordinator and master of ceremonies have stage managed several hundred wedding receptions and can readily anticipate any ‘hiccups’ that occur during the reception. - Do be in control of your wedding reception program.
Sometimes a friend or a relative kindly insists that they do an impromptu song number or dance number ‘in honor of the couple’ that is not part of the original program. Although the decision to allow this ‘special number’ lies with the couple, I suggest that you kindly turn it down for several reasons: It take away focus from the wedded couple, it derails the flow of the wedding reception program and it makes the program longer than it should reasonably be. If a friend or relative approaches you with this request, refer him/her to your wedding coordinator so he/she can diplomatically yet firmly turn them down. - Do find somebody to say a short yet meaningful prayer before meals.
Sometimes the celebrant/pastor does not attend the wedding reception program, so it is advisable to find an articulate and (preferably religious) relative to offer the prayer before meals. This prayer before meals is not another homily, but it should be poignant enough to catch people’s attention. Another alternative is to get a young niece/nephew to deliver a previously memorized prayer as children easily catch the attention of the guests. - Do keep the audio video presentation of your ‘romance’ short and sweet.
Everybody loves a good story that ends in a fairytale wedding. And the video re-telling of your love story will keep your guests enthralled. The guests want a little preview of how both of you got together, fell in love, got engaged and eventually headed for the altar. But I don’t think the guests want to catch a whole two-hour wedding special (unless you are Ryan and Judai). So I strongly recommend to keep your love story AVP between five to eight minutes. If you include interviews in the AVP, try to keep them to a minimum. - Do remind all those who will be delivering toasts to kindly prepare for the toasts.
Everybody looks forward to the toasts of the best man/men, maid/matron of honor and the fathers of the bride and groom. And since all these speakers are all informed well ahead of time of their toasts, the best way to honor the couple and the guests is by preparing for the toasts. It is advisable to ask all those who will speaking to write down what they have to day (even bulletpoints) and deliver a punchy toast that is about three minutes long. A five minute toast is pushing it. A fifteen minute toast is a lecture. And please remind those speaking that this is a toast, and not a roast of the couple (and particularly of the groom). - Do remember to hold your partner’s hand during the reception.
When you go to table-hopping for the picture taking, when you approach the stage for your dance, or when you greet friends, always remember to firmly and gently hold the hand of your spouse wherever you go (except if you have to go to the restroom). The wedding is a celebration of your union, and holding each other’s hands is a simple yet beautiful way of showing it off. - Do remember to thank the most important person in your life.
Aside from saying thank you to your guests, your sponsors and both sets of parents during the thank you speech, please do not forget to thank the most important person in the room – your spouse. Since the man traditionally delivers the thank you speech, here are two line that will keep your wife smiling for the rest of the evening (and hopefully, your life as well): “Thank you for saying yes to me” and “you look beautiful tonight”. - Do have fun.
10. Sometimes, there are things that will happen during the wedding reception that are beyond anybody’s control. An al fresco wedding reception can be ruined by rain or a massive traffic jam from the church to the reception or a pocket rebellion (yes, it does happen). But you know what? It happens. Take comfort in the fact that you prepared your darndest for your special day. And if anything happens that you didn’t expect, just laugh it off. Just go ahead and drink and dance. Enjoy the company of those nearest and dearest to you. And who knows? By the time the night is over, you might just get lucky. And it better be with your spouse.